Reach Out

Reaching out applies to grievers and everyone else.  I have been in the position where “let us know what you need” doesn’t get answered. I honestly didn’t know what I needed or what I needed that person couldn’t provide.  I was thankful for those who just brought food and paper plates and plastic spoons.  Someone even brought us toilet paper.  Others took the time to spend evenings with us.  I especially appreciated those who remembered us months after our loss. Those are the ways of reaching out, that were helpful to me.

Sometimes reaching out is simply reaching to your partner.  There were many times when the two of us connected and felt comfort.  I also remember reaching out to my husband and not feeling his hand hold mine (and vise versa). We were at places where we couldn’t be there for each other.  For me that was when I decided I needed to reach outside my comfort zone.

Social media has opened the doors for finding others who can help.  I liked the anonymousness.  The women I met never appeared to judge me and we grew together.  We leaned on each other in our difficult times.  Those moments are what sustained me when friends, family, and my husband couldn’t help me in the ways I needed.

The journey is long and along the path isn’t straight. As grievers we can get so lost in our sorrow that we can’t or won’t reach out.  This is especially true in the very beginning and, then again, when the world thinks we “should be healed”.  Remind yourself that it is okay to take a timeout in the trees but if you get stuck in mud, call out for help.  And friends, family, and outsiders… take the time to reach out when you are called to.  Sometimes it takes every ounce of courage we have to call to you.

#WhatHealsYou

If you have some free time listen to this song that reminds me of reaching out.
I won’t let go – Rascal Flatts