Tag Archives: Spring

Capture Your Grief – 2016 – Day #23

Sounds, Season, Scents

It is no surprise that my favorite season is spring.  It is the season of rebirth and beauty.  It is the season that Clara saw in her short life.  Spring reminds me of pink and everything we love about her.  Spring isn’t always perfect.  It can be unpredictable but one thing that is always true is that spring means new growth.  It means I will be seeing my favorite flowers and making a trip to South Dakota.  The years that these lovely flowers have been blown off by the wind way too early remind me of the little life we lost too soon.

As the birds begin to chirp it reminds me of the dove in the cemetery the day of the funeral. One of our favorite parts of spring is the return of the ducks to the river.  The kids and I enjoy visiting and feeding them.  We visit the Statue of Hope at City Park in Iowa City.  We walk the area and watch as the river rises.  A reminder that not everything will go according to plan.  We will have unexpected losses but there is always rebuilding afterward.  With rebuilding comes so many new friendships and new doors to open.  Life isn’t the same but we return and continue to grow.

The smell of the warmer air and lovely smell of light rain are always welcome.  Winter is bare and empty.  No sounds but the howling wind. Nothing to look at but bare trees and frozen ground. Spring means the beginning of warmth. It reminds me of the warmth I felt when Clara arrived.  Spring reminds me of her smiles and the love she radiated. The rain softly falls reminding me of the days we stayed in our pj’s all day, cuddling by the window.  Spring just reminds me of all the best things of Clara. It is absolutely my favorite and no other season will ever compare. <3



Capture Your Grief – 2016 – Day #11

Creative Heartwork

Over the past seven years we have been given many gifts in remembrance of Clara.  Angels, jewelry, flowers, tokens at the cemetery.  This year when we were back in South Dakota we were surprised with the beautiful heartwork.  This blanket is absolutely everything Clara from the pink butterflies to the green stripes.  It reminds me of her flower play mat with the crinkly butterfly.  It reminds me of the lovely white dress she work for Easter, our family pictures, and as her last outfit.

We will forever treasure the blanket/quilt.  You know what makes it even more awesome?! It was on display in a South Dakota fabric store for several weeks. Even though it is years later, someone still took the time to share Clara’s memory with the world and then give this gift to us to treasure.  <3




#CaptureYourGrief – Day #18

Seasons & Symbols


It is no secret that spring is my season of comfort.  I once did a bible study about the desert times in our life. It reminded me of my time in deep grief, my winter.  Spring comes after winter, rains come after the dry seasons.  It brings new beginnings and new birth.  It reminds me of all the beautiful things that came from Clara’s passing.  Springs helps me focus on the little life we held for an entire season.  Spring is filled with newness and pink and yellow and Clara.

My symbol of Clara?  The pink flowers that bloom every spring near the time of her passing.  After Clara’s funeral we were given a tree to plant in memory of her.  The person who gave the gift was particular about this tree.  He wanted it to have pink flowers for our little girl.

We brought home an ornamental crab apple tree that blooms that most beautiful pink blossoms.  The delicate blooms are brief, lasting just a few days to a week. Several years the wind has blown like a lion. Some of the flowers fly away quickly while others firmly hold on. It reminds me of the brief time we held Clara and how firmly we hold onto our memories.

Last year when I did this project I wrote about the sadness I felt with moving from South Dakota to Iowa and having to leave her tree behind.  This May I was pleasantly surprised while doing dishes.  I looked out the window and saw those lovely little pink buds on the tree in our backyard.  In a matter of days pretty pink graced the tree. It wasn’t planned.  We didn’t know. It was a simple reminder that Clara is with us no matter where we go.  It touched us in a way that said, “I am here and you are meant to be here.”




Spring is Here!

So many of you know that my favorite season is spring.  It reminds me so much of the time I got to share with Clara.  The renewing season of spring fills the day with reminders of love, happiness, new beginnings, and hope.  I find the gentle spring rains to remind me of tears of love that fall when I think of Clara.  Unlike the storms of summer where I feel a sense of my grief  during the first few months after Clara’s passing, the spring rains are gentle, kind, and bring beauty to the empty land.

Today isn’t the first day of spring but it is the first day I noticed the tree outside our front window is has leaves opening!  What a perfect day since yesterday was Easter and a time of hope and renewal.  I am looking forward to seeing flower buds and flowers soon.  Until then I wanted to capture and share the beautiful image outside my home today.  It is my little piece of heaven today.  SpringTree2015Iowa

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
{Romans 12:2}



The CarlyMarie Project – Day 25

                                       Mother Earth


Day 25 Mother Earth  After a loss the outdoors took on a bit different roll.  The first year each season was a reminder that life was moving forward.  They were a silent reminder of the hopes of dreams I wanted to share with Clara but couldn’t.  The summer swimming, the Halloween princess, the holiday celebrations, the spring flowers…the times we didn’t get.   Today the seasons also remind me of things yet to come.  For me spring holds such a good spot in my heart.  As I watch the trees come to life I am reminded of the good that comes each season.  The flowers show the beauty and health.  Finally the fruit is like seeing everything come together.

As the seasons change the fruit is harvested and the tree begins to lose it’s leaves.  The tree begins another cycle.  Eventually the tree must come down and through the trunk there is a reminder of the years of growth, and drought, and storms, and health.  The rings of a tree are a perfect reminder of my own years of changes.  Some of me has growth and some despair.  But no season is the same as the last.  I am forever changed and distinctly marked by each season of my life.  God has touched my life, stood me up, shaped me.  He has made me similar and yet unique from every other tree along the path of grief.



The CarlyMarie Project – Day 13


"The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day He created spring."  Bern Williams

“The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day He created spring.”
Bern Williams

Spring!  The season of new birth.  Everything about spring reminds me of Clara.  The new flowers on the rose bushes, the pink blossoms on her tree, the sun shining, the green grass, and celebration of Easter.  Even the rain reminds me of her.  The way it comes and goes reminds me of the waves of tears I shed, then and now, for her.  If I could live in a single season, it would be spring 🙂