Light/Dark

 

As I look at todays journaling bit I realize that I started this a little yesterday with pregnancy and future children. The struggle of my heart.  The good and the bad, the happiness and the fear.  I can’t help but remember the beautiful words my husband spoke at Clara’s visitation.   He wanted everyone to make sweet out of the bitter, make the lemons into lemonade.  So today I find it fitting to share that image, our image, of light and dark.

Grief is a constant back and forth of light and dark.  We mourn our loss and yet we celebrate the life we once held.  We cry and at the same time giggle through our tears at the funny stories and memories.  We do things to honor our children and still feel sad that we are attending that very event.  We share joys of more children and hide our fears.  We are changed.  The battle between the light and dark is different that it was before our loss.  It is real, babies really do die.  Hearts can be shattered.  Memories are precious.  Little things bring smiles to our hearts and tears to our eyes.

Today my swings between light and dark are fewer but never completely gone.  My home is filled with reminders of pink and yellow.  They will always signify my struggle and blessings, my tears and laughter, my hopes and dreams,
my bitter and my sweet.

#CaputreYourGrief
#WhatHealsYourHeart