Sacred Space

Today I took some time to look back through my previous years of this project.  My sacred space as evolved and changed as my grief has.  We have a special area in our home and pictures on the wall.  We have trees and plants and a cemetery space.  We have this lovely bench that we take pictures near each year.  It made me realize that my sacred space is really our home.

When I say home, I don’t mean the structure.  We have moved a couple of times since Clara passed.  When referred to as a structure I find that “home” isn’t sacred.  Her empty room was never sacred.  It was something that caused strife between myself and other family members.  It was a place where another baby took over.  When I refer to “home” I really mean this group of people that live together, love together, grieve together.

Our home has always been a safe place to talk about Clara.  It is a place to share reminders and celebrate birthdays.  One where we sometimes cry together.  We ask and answer questions about this baby girl.  Our home is where we don’t have to explain why we take our back-to-school pictures near this bench each year, we just know.  We grow together in our loss and change.  Our home is always growing.

Our home reminds me that we will always grow and change but nothing makes Clara’s life lost.  She is part of this sacred space in our hearts and home.

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