Tag Archives: Healing

The CarlyMarie Project – Day 26

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                                  Healing Ritual

Healing Ritual - Balloon Release

One of my family’s favorite healing ritual is to release balloons.  We usually release them 3 times a year to remember Clara’s on her birthday, the day she entered Heaven, and the day we honor her life.  The balloon release was our way to help our boys heal some of the wounds on Clara’s first birthday.  We wrote messages and sent them off to Heaven.  It became healing for me too.  Seeing such excitement as the kids wrote their messages, hearts, and smiley faces brings me to tears and yet a smile.  For them to feel the connection with their sister means a lot to them.  It means the world to me.  A little bit of each of us rises with those balloons and greets our little ones waiting in Heaven.  A little gift from earth that brings comfort on some of the toughest days we live.

#WhatHealsYourHeart
#CaptureYourGrief

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The CarlyMarie Project – Day 19

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                                        Give

 

Looking at the topic of give makes me smile.  My husband and I found very early on that giving in memory of Clara was healing for us.  For me it made it feel less like I was simply throwing Clara’s stuff away and more that I was offering a little bit of Clara to others.  The first call we got in the ER was from the organ donation group.  They were asking us if we would be willing to donate Clara’s heart valves.  We said yes!

From there we slowly gave away some of her things, like diapers, wipes, and some clothes to a program for mothers in need.  We sent off the breast milk that we had stashed away to a Mother’s Milk Bank in Denver, CO.  Each year we use our local Angel Tree to find a little girl Clara’s age to give to.  We give to SIDS research and family help.  There are just so many ways we can and do give in the physical form.

Sometimes we are so stuck on material giving that we over look the self giving we can do.  Often times it is the giving of ourselves that can mean so much more that anything else.  I found the best giving to come from helping others.  Being a peer contact was one way I could help others.  God brought so many women into my life at a time when I and they needed it most.  To watch many of these women work through their grief has helped me walk through mine.  There insights have been helpful to mine.  The best part is seeing them smile again and return to God.  The love they share heals my heart a little more each time.

give-up-holiday-quote

#WhatHealsYourHeart
#CaptureYourGrief

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CarlyMarie Project 2013 – Day #29

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Healing

Some say you never really heal after the loss of a child while others say you heal but you will always be different.  I feel like it is a little of both.  Healing takes courageous effort.  One must be willing to work, willing to feel hurt, willing to try again tomorrow.  My own healing has been a long journey.  One of much pain, love, and courage.  I feel like the single most healing thing for me has been doing the reflection and journaling for the Carly Marie Project.  I had tremendous healing with the 2012 project.  The project makes you think about the things that ultimately change your life and shaped you.  You take the time to reflect and ask yourself: why do I feel this way, why did this make me feel so hurt, why does this make me smile?

After the project I put together all my thoughts and created a book to keep.  I found that it almost erased some of those bad memories I kept holding onto.  The writing turned out to be much more therapeutic that I could have ever imagined.  That is why I chose to continue the project this year.  I am amazed at how a single year has changed how I feel about some things and yet others remain the same.

I would encourage everyone who is dealing with the loss of a child to complete this project.  You don’t have to do it publicly.  Write it down in a journal at home and place it safely with the special things you have kept for you child.  This project comes with tears but the healing that can take place if you take the time to reflect each day is amazing.  I will be forever greatful for taking the chance and completing the project.  I hope you will find a similar healing.

Courage doesn’t always roar.  
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

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