Day #23: Their Name/Their Photo

This project is in Memory of Clara Mae Ortman

Here is her Easter picture taken in 2009.  This is our most favorite dress and the one she was buried in.

Mommy’s Favorite Picture…

Taken just a few short weeks before she passed, this is my favorite picture of her cute smile and her stunning blue eyes.

Daddy’s Favorite Picture…

This is Daddy’s favorite picture and the one that is on her memorial.  He loved making her smile.  I am so thankful he got this picture of her.

Clara’s Last Picture…

Who knew the morning before she passed away I would take our very last picture of her.  That morning she slept in and I only spent about 30 mins with her before work.  This picture is a treasure and sadness all in one.  I had no idea that 6 hours after this picture was taken we would be sitting in the ER seeing the same image but with a baby that  was no longer breathing.

Day #22:  Place of Care

SIDS unfortunately didn’t just affect our family.

It also affected our daycare provider and her family.  Elaine is the most amazing woman, friend, mom, and of course daycare provider.  She is so willing to share her life with us and has answered every question we had about Clara’s last day.  We are blessed to have such a wonderful person help raise our children.  She will always be part of our family and a grandma to all our kids!

Elaine and her family were a big part of our 2009 “Run for Their Lives” walk/run.  They braved the rain and cold to walk and support us and have our family support hers too.

We love Elaine so much!  Our boys are always so excited to see her each week when we visit.  Preston wasn’t in for the picture but it was fun to get all the boys together for a cute picture.

We try to remind people everyday that tragedy doesn’t have to separate families.  Our loss has brought 2 families closer together.

Day #21: Altar/Shrine/Sacred Space

Just a few things we have collected along the way…

This area is kind of a special place for the angels and gifts we got from the funeral and afterward.  A few things the boys have made or picked out from the store for her.  Stashed here are those special things we need to keep safe in a home full of boys 😉

My Favorite Flowers…

We still have a set of pink silk flowers from Clara’s funeral on top.  It was so disappointing as the real flowers from her funeral died and you had to let go of them.  It reminded me of having to let go of Clara all over again.  But those silk flowers never died, they are still with me.  For me those flowers are a constant reminder that Clara is always with me. Thank you to my aunts and uncle for choosing silk flowers instead of real ones 🙂

Day #20: Charity/Organization

Lach’s Legacy –  www.lachslegacy.org

Our favorite organization has been Lach’s Legacy.  We saw Lach’s story on the news days after Clara’s death. During the newscast I realized that he and Clara both passed on the same date just a year apart and both within a day or two of Mother’s Day.  It was sad to know another mother felt the same way I did.  A couple of days later we got a package in the mail from Brianne and Lach’s Legacy.  We can’t thank her enough for that care package and the invite to the SIDS walk she held that same year.  The “Run for Their Lives” Run/Walk has been a touching event where we have been able to meet other families,  get our yearly family picture, and have friends and family can come out and support us each year.  We are so blessed to know a such a wonderful, giving family and organization.

CJ SIDS Foundation – www.cjsids.org

Our other favorite resource has been CJ SIDS Foundation.  They are active on Facebook and have such great info on safe sleep and SIDS risk reduction as well as posting info about product recommendations and recalls.  Linda has also been great at answering questions and helping me with putting together the packets for the city.  She has been such a  great resource and I am lucky to have someone like her to bounce questions off of.  Some day Chris and I will have to try the “Strike Out SIDS” event or their new “Pin-Ups!” campaign.

Day #19: Projects

It has taken me a while to decide on what projects to do…

When we lost Clara it was just too hard to get up and speak to others or to do projects.  To be honest, I didn’t really know where to begin with projects.  I also was working full time and raising an ever growing family.  This year we decided it just made more sense for me to stay home.  This has really opened up many doors and time for projects.

2010 Projects…

In 2010, I was connected by friends to a couple of wonderful ladies who had just begun to walk through losing their boys.  I found it helpful in my own grief to help others.  From then on I knew that this is something I want to keep doing.  I found as time went on it was easier for me to talk about my own loss and I think I became a better listener to their stories as well.  It has made me very interested in doing projects in the field of public speaking.

2011 Projects…

Public speaking had a trial run with the Mitchell Optimist Club.  The group gave me the opportunity to speak to them about safe sleep and losing a child.  I was nervous, but I was thrilled to be able to speak about Clara, my own experiences, and how others could reduce their risks.  I hope to be able to speak with soon-to-be parents at our local parenting classes in Mitchell.  I hope to share the knowledge about safe sleep practices not for them but also for them to relay to caregivers (like gma and gpa), daycares, and babysitters.

This year, after the passing of another baby in daycare, I began working with the City of Mitchell to create packets to hand out to all daycares that are registering with the city.  After talking with them, I found that daycares that are registered with the city and NOT the state have no requirements on safe sleep classes as they would if they were registered through the State of South Dakota.  Their registration with the city is merely a zoning change to the residence, a fire inspection, and cpr class.  After those items are complete the city does not periodically check on the daycare.  The city has thought about changing this in the past but has decided not to.  My continued project is to keep these packets available to the City as well as try to get some oversight into ALL city registered daycares.

Lach’s Legacy Project…

Clara’s Classroom.  Chris and I have been working on the Lach’s Legacy website to add a page of safe sleep education.  We have been slow at completing this because his project schedule has been pretty busy.  We hope to have this up soon!  (lachslegacy.org)

Day #14: Community

I really struggled to find a picture for today. I finally decided on sharing 2 pictures that are special to me.

One from the Lach’s Legacy website. This was our first opportunity to meet other families that had lost a baby to SIDS. The event took place less than a month after Clara passed away. Even through the cold, rainy weather friends and family came to support us. I met a wonderful gentleman that ran part of the way with me and shared about his nephew he was running for. He took the time to ask about Clara and was a great inspiration to me. Thanks Bri for inviting us! It was helpful to know we were not alone in our loss.

The second picture is of Tanya and I at her son Paxton’s memory golf tournament this year. I met some wonderful ladies who had experienced a whole lot of different losses from miscarriage to still born to SIDS. I got to hear what they are doing for other parents who are going through what we have. They are an amazing group of women and I can’t wait to go back next year and support them!