Identity

It is hard to write the identity of our daughter without making it sound like an obituary.  One thing I do want to scream to the world is that her name is CLARA, not Clara Mae.  Mae is her middle name.  People often refer to her as Clara Mae and it hurts because that wasn’t her name.  I am not sure how that became to be.  Probably the funeral because the pastor always referred to her that way even after reminders that her name was Clara.

Clara’s name means bright, famous.  After months of not being able to agree on a girls name and had kind of given up for a while.  Chris was reading The Time Travelers Wife and I asked what it was about.  The main girl’s name was Clare and it was then that we found the name we loved…Clara.

Clara was born just 21 days after my brother took his own life.  In a way she was a rainbow baby for my family.  She was the light in the tunnel of darkness we were all in.  At the time she was my smallest baby at 6#13oz and 19 inches long.  She had some blond hair that eventually fell out.  It was just starting to grow back when she left us.  She was a very smiley, happy baby with bright blue eyes.  She was a daddy’s girl and loved being with him.  She would stare at him for hours while he talked and sang to her.  We had decided her color was green because she looked so good in it.  Although we now use pink and yellow as her colors.

She was our little sweet pea and peanut because she was so tiny.  She wore newborn clothes until she was 6 weeks old!!  She was just about 12lbs when she passed and had just started wearing 3-6m clothes.  She was a little sister who lit up the world of her brothers.  She loved when they played with her.  Clara was often referred to as “perfect” because of her laid back attitude and awesome skin complexion.

Clara is a little sister…

A big sister…

And always our daughter.