Artwork

“Mom, I am afraid I am going to forget Clara!!!” ~ Mason 8yrs old

Several weeks ago Mason found a foot key chain with the poem “Footprints” on it.  He lost it and was crying and very upset.  When we were able to finally get him to talk he told me about how afraid he was.  Afraid he might forget his sister and the fun times they had together.  He said there is already so many things he doesn’t remember.  His older brother Damon, who was 5 at the time, remembers the day she passed very well even though they were outside playing when everything happened.  He remembers the ambulance and firetrucks arriving, our daycare lady crying, our daycare’s husband hugging them.  Mason was only 4 and doesn’t remember nearly as much about that day nor the week following.

So Mason and I looked through Clara’s box.  Through her clothes and pictures too.  He cried as he tried to remember some of the memories I had.  He did seem to calm down when he got to hold her paci, musical rabbit, and an outfit he remembered very well.  I asked him if there was anything he wanted so he could remember.  He asked for a picture and put it in his room, on the wall next to his bed.

After that night I knew I needed to create something that would include some items from Clara as well as things we have done since she passed.  I decided to make shadow boxes for both Mason and Damon.  I wanted them to help by picking out an outfit of hers that reminded them of her.  That actually turned into looking at pictures of Clara and then the picked the outfit that matched their favorite picture.  Damon picked the outfit that we took their Easter picture in.  So his box has a pretty stripe dress and a picture of the boys and her.  Mason picked the dress she wore on Mother’s day.  He said he remembered her eating her dress all day and that we had to change her outfit because it was all wet, just like we do with Haleigh.  Perfect!

I added a few things like the funeral handouts, the buttons we wear for the run each year, a picture of them reading with her.  I have a few more things I would like to add like the pink ties my brothers wore for the funeral and a couple of pink and yellow flowers.

Both boys like them and have them displayed in their room.  Mason makes me giggle because he said he may decide to put it in his special box under his bed so that it doesn’t get broke.  “I want to keep it safe so that when I have my own house, I can hang it up.”  Makes my heart melt!!

I have saved a few other outfits just in case the 3 little ones want something like this for the sister they never got to meet.  Lincoln is 3.5yrs old and starting to ask about when he can meet his sister Clara.  I have already had to explain that right now she is in Heaven.  My wish is that they would want to have a box and some special items to know her by.  Knowing she is in Heaven is one thing to comprehend but having something tangible to hold can help in understanding she was here but isn’t anymore.

Explaining the truth never gets easier but making memories with them so that they can “hold” her in their hearts makes it worth it.