Honor
Mother’s Milk Bank:
When Clara left us I was still pumping and freezing milk for her. We had begun adding formula to her diet but still wanted to give breast milk too. When our arms were left empty my body was left hurting. Every 3 hours my body reminded me that I should have a baby to feed. Through the funeral planning, visitation, funeral, and the next few weeks I was constantly reminded. I pumped and cried. It felt like such a waste. Any mom can tell you how difficult it is to throw breast milk away.
I stumbled upon a site about breast milk banking and realized this was what I needed to do. I called the Sioux Falls, SD Hospitals and spoke to their NICU staff. I found no place in SD to donate to but Denver, CO had a location. I made the call that not only left me in tears but also the lady on the other end. She was amazing and did everything she could to make sure Clara and my milk was able to make it to Denver. She said that every year they have about 5 mother’s who donate in memory of their child. They have a care package they send to these wonderful, caring women who in their time of loss think of how they can save others. Our milk would be used for very premature babies who still can’t tolerate formula. Breast milk is so gentle on their bodies and helps decrease their risk of things like intestinal infections or surgery complications.
Our small donation of 350 ounces made between 150-200 bottles available to these precious little lives.
Below is a chart of current donation locations. In 2010 I donated again to Coralville IA (Iowa City). That is the current location that Eastern South Dakota NICU’s receive their donated milk from. I encourage mom’s to check it out.
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Lach’s Legacy:
Each year we give to Lach’s Legacy in Clara’s memory. Our wish is that the care package that meant so much to us, is there for others. We also appreciate the “Run for Their Lives!” 5K each year and want to continue to help make it successful.
CJ Foundation for SIDS:
We also give in memory here as well. Some day hopefully we can detect those babies at high risk for SIDS and it can only happen with research. CJ Foundation for SIDS also is a key educator for care givers and parents on SIDS risk reduction as well as a place to seek help for creating home town awareness.
Peer Contact:
Connecting with others helps keep Clara’s memory alive. I know that I can listen to others talk about their babies and know that they will not judge me for talking about mine. Speaking her name isn’t weird or awkward because they too want to talk about their baby. It is a bond that will last a lifetime.
Carly Marie Project:
Last but not least I do this project in memory of Clara. I find it to create awareness to infant loss as well as help those who have never experienced the loss of a child help someone around them. This project touches so many lives. Not just mine or my friends, but all those who take the chance to read it. I find that for 31 days I can freely talk about Clara, my feelings, my projects, my heart without feeling like a burden. For 31 days I can share my faith without having to look for a “perfect opportunity”. For 31 days grieving the loss of a child isn’t hidden or shameful. For 31 days you get to see what it is like for a parent to lose a child and what they deal with 365 days a year.
