Choose Your Breath

The topic name didn’t mean a lot to me at first glance but after reading the description I found it easier to write about. Here is the topic description for day #24:

“Many of you are taking part in Franchesca Cox’s Choosing Your Breath Grief Workshop. I love her workshop because it gives a space for people to intentionally and actively work through their grief. Conscious grief work is so important if you want to create a beautiful life after loss. Have you ever sat down and really thought about where you are in your grief journey? Have you ever paid attention to your inner thought patterns? Are you stuck? Are you comfortable? Are you peaceful, angry, frustrated, hopeful? What are you feeling? Why are you feeling that way? Where do you want to go next? How will you get to that place? Are there any changes you could make in your life that would benefit your grief journey? When you start exploring the landscape of your own mind you begin to become aware of your thought patterns and you get to understand your grief more.  Share your own grief discoveries. Do you feel hopeful for your future? Do you believe that grief and healing can co-exist?”
http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/capture-your-grief-2015

The #CaptureYourGrief projects held during the month of October have been my active work through my grief.  I am at a point where I look forward to these projects and time of reflection.  There are always topics that I would never explore if it weren’t for the project.  I know for some of you it may be hard to read some of the same posts each year.  Each year I feel things are different and even a similar post isn’t really the same for me.  There is growth and comfort and healing with each topic and writing time.

I found that starting my blog gave me a place to post each October as well as throughout the year, when the words struck.  It is interesting to look back at where I was four years ago and see where I am today.

Dedicated writing each day of the project also gives me a chance to talk to my kids, share with them how I feel, and listen to how they feel.  There is comfort in knowing where my kids are in their grief too.  This year Damon has followed all of the posts and pictures.  He has shared things I never thought of.  His eyes filled with tears as he says, “yes…” show me that, he too, is still grieving.

I am grateful for the openness this project gives. I think it has helped me work through things I most likely would have kept bottled up.  It gives me a chance to open up Clara’s special tote and spend a month deliberately remembering her life without negative comments or awkward stares. It helps me to see where I am in my grief and see where I have been stuck.  It is through this project that I have found much comfort, shed some tears, and found a little more of my heart.  It is where I grieve intentionally.

#WhatHealsYou