It was never an option to leave Clara’s room as it was. We found this hutch to be a place where we could place special things that were received or purchased in memory of her. Angels, flowers, and pictures fill our special place. It is a place where we can share Clara with our guests.
We also keep pictures of her with the rest of our kids because she will forever be one of our children.
#WhatHealsYourHeart
#CaptureYourGrief
Support comes in so many forms. It is hard to decide what the best support really is. What I needed back when Clara passed away is different that what I need today. I think supporters come and go and there is really no perfect supporter. Once I recognized that no single person will be there 100% of the way I was able to better see how each person was offering their hearts, shoulders, and themselves.
Back when Clara passed I really needed peoples kind words. Sometimes that isn’t what I got but I tried not to let “unkind” words hurt because not everyone knows what to say. For me creating a list of the “worst things to say” helped. It was a way to write these terrible responses down and actually made me laugh at many of them. I remember moving phrases up and down the list and saying, “I can’t believe someone said that to me.” I don’t think this works for everyone but for me it helped me let this stuff roll off my shoulders.
Sometimes support comes from strangers and just knowing that you are not alone. Being able to participate in awareness events with other families is what I needed for a long time. Participating didn’t always mean I was there in person either. There have been many events that I have donated to in Clara’s memory. Supporting the community of ladies that are also trying to raise awareness works for me whether I am there in person or in spirit.
Now that I am 5 and a half years on my path, I have found that the best supporters are the ones that remember Clara’s birthday, death day, “Run for Their Lives!”, and just mention her name once in a while. Those who spend time sharing stories and listening to stories show me that they still care. That support reminds me that Clara has not been forgotten. That is the best support I could ask for.
Here are some memories from the support we got in memory of Clara this June.
Kids getting ready to run the 1 mile run. They were surrounded by others their age that too have lost a sibling.
Just a few of our supporters this year.
Clara’s friend Alexis has been at the run every year! Getting to hug her each time feels so good 🙂
Lots of our family are here showing support for the kids.
Running to the finish!
And then going back in the rain to finishing up with part of our group.
Encouraging Damon to finish up the 5K after running the 1 mile kids run. #support
“When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words.”
Thema Davis
#WhatHealsYourHeart
#CaptureYourGrief
