Getting through each day after Clara’s passing took work.  I had to find something good to focus on.  It was those small things that helped me to focus less on how awful my loss was and to realize that my tears were because I knew how wonderful each day with Clara had been.  I really found finding ways to celebrate her life gave me hope.  Hope that maybe, some day, we could find a way to help end SIDS.  Hope that the awareness we try to create will save another family from this profound sadness.  Hope that when we think about her we will smile more often than cry.

My hope will always be that each newly bereaved family can find this hope too and some day smile as much as we do.

The other thing I hope for others, who just entering this grief, is that they are gentle on themselves.  It is easy to blame yourself and question everything.  It can consume our lives and our hearts.   Grief is overwhelming.  The days feel long and the nights even longer.  Be gentle.  Take time for you.  Don’t listen to others bad advice or harsh words, they aren’t feeling what you are.  Don’t rush into packing up your little ones things or to hold a baby because you don’t want to make someone feel bad.  Do it because you are ready.  Be gentle on your heart.  Love.  Hug.  Pray.  Find hope in each day.
Your heart will never be whole but work towards a heart that holds beautiful memories of your little one.