If you ask any mom who has lost a child, Mother’s Day can be very hard.

How do you celebrate when a part of you, a piece that made you a mom, is missing?  In the years since Clara passed I have found ways to make Mother’s Day special and a celebration.  This year feels different though.  I think because for the first time I have to share my special day with the anniversary of Clara’s death (May 12th).  This will be the first of several Mother’s Days I will share with this sad anniversary.

How do I celebrate Mother’s Day without feeling guilty?

Should I feel sad or guilty that I am less sad than I used to be??  Losing her doesn’t make me less of a mom but then losing her makes it hard to feel like a complete mom.  My husband keeps asking me what I want to do for Mother’s Day and I still have no ideas for him.   I thought about making a trip to visit another mom who is also sharing her special day and hosting a SIDS walk but this year it isn’t in the cards.  So I will settle for a trip to visit Clara, which will also be Haleigh’s first trip to visit her sister.  Bittersweet I guess.

On the bright side I have many good memories of sharing a single Mother’s Day with Clara.  Her smiles that day were giant!   She was loving her new found chew toy…her dress.  She was all cuddles and a snuggly little girl that day.  I also got to enjoy a cute gift her and her older brothers made at daycare….a gift I still enjoy and look at often.  Today I have 5 little blessings with me to share my day with and an angel looking down on me.  One could definitely say I am very blessed.  With them, and my wonderful husband, Mother’s Day will be a good day.

Today I got a card in the mail remembering Clara’s passing…

The words that were shared will make sharing my day with Clara’s day a little easier.

“The tide recedes but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand, and the sun goes down but gentle warmth still lingers on the land.  The music stops and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains… for every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.” M.D. Hughes.

There are many beautiful things that remain and that is part of what keeps a smile on my face and in my heart.

It will be what helps get me through my shared Mother’s Day.  Besides who could look at this beautiful girl and not love to remember her?!  She will always be a part of this mom and her memory a part many other moms out there.